A million hours of care go into a book, so it’s a relief when I finally see one off into the world, between its own covers, not needing my attention anymore.

I have learned so much from studying orcas who organize their lives around the leadership of mothers. In honor of that I’d like to say a word about some of the women who’ve made a difference in my life and helped me see the full possibilities of feminine leadership.

First up, thanks to the Girl Scouts of America. I loved my time as a brownie and junior scout. It gave me a place apart from my family and away from the male gaze to try out new skills and flex my creative, intellectual, and physical muscles.

The women saints and theologians of history like Hildegard of Bingen have inspired me for many years. (Shout out to the many Jesuits who introduced me to these women and tried to live by the example they set) I’m also grateful to the women pastors I know including Bishop Laurie Larson Ceasar and Amy Delaney who personify all that is best in female leadership with serenity and good humor 98% of the time.

I’m grateful to my mother who never said a negative thing about herself in my hearing. (She had plenty of negative things to say to me, which is why I will be showing up to all my zooms this year in a clean shirt, not picking my nose!) It’s not that I imagine my mother had no regrets or moments where she doubted herself. But she staunchly refused to play the self-depreciation game so expected of women across the generations. In refusing that game she freed me to imagine the impossible for myself and here I am with an occupation that suits my talents, and serves my community well–two of the hallmarks of female leadership.

And finally I am indebted to my brilliant mother-in-law Kathryn–a queen among matriarchs. She is the mother of twelve of the most creative and generous people I know. She is a champion wayfinder–not just in finding a way to raise all those children so beautifully, but also in helping others find their way. When I was a new mother and my Bill deployed to Desert Storm I was frantic with worry. She encouraged me to find an art that I could practice a little bit every day. She urged me to drive that desire for control and perfection into my art where it would serve me well rather than into my child where it might do much harm. Wise advice. I am a writer now because of it and grateful to have fretted over perfecting these thousands of sentences rather than my own children.

I hope you will enjoy this tale of a matriarch-in-the-making who is testing her leadership skills against incredible odds in the company of her stout-hearted little brother who–so like the men in my life–accompanies her, not to solve her problems for her, but to strengthen her simply by his presence.

A thousand thanks to Lindsay Moore for her stunning artwork, Fiona Kenshole for her tenacious advocacy, and Virginia Duncan and the whole Greenwillow team for bringing these words into such a beautiful form.